When the fear of not having enough won’t resolve despite the evidence that you do: restriction and control become the price of the abundance you've created
I agree, but I actually want to spin this on its head for a second and do a 180. I think Gen Z investors have seen so few market drops—and no prolonged correction— did they do not understand what real fallout looks like financially. Great write up!
Very insightful take, and I think you’ve hit on something really important. Because you're right: many in your generation have mostly seen the buy the dip environment, which doesn't really test one's resolve in the way a prolonged, multi-year correction does.
My hope is that by understanding these motivational forces early, your generation can build the inner discipline to sail through those rougher markets when they eventually arrive.
It’s a great competitive advantage to start thinking this way now! The goal is really to cultivate the mental framework now so you aren't caught off guard later. Glad you're thinking about the psychology behind the charts! Thank you for your great comment.
Thank you so much for sharing that. It takes a lot of courage to admit that the pit in your stomach still surfaces, even when you know you’ve come out the other side. That trauma does cut deep, and it's a testament to your growth that you’re consciously turning those past bad situations into lessons for your kids, rather than passing the anxiety down to them. That is the best kind of wealth you can leave them! Thank you for such a personal side of the story!
I see this on the court constantly, especially with players in their sixties and seventies who grew up believing money had to be earned the hard way.
I coach a lot of retired folks who finally have time and savings to enjoy pickleball, lessons, travel to tournaments, better paddles, whatever they want. And some of them still won't spend forty bucks on a private lesson that would fix a problem costing them matches. Not because they can't afford it. Because some old voice in their head says spending on themselves is reckless. Meanwhile they'll drop that same money on gear because gear feels like a "need" and coaching feels like a luxury.
It's the same wiring you're describing. The scarcity isn't in their bank account, it's in a story they never updated.
Have you noticed a specific event that resets someone's calibration, or does it usually take slow repeated evidence before the fear finally loosens its grip?
That’s a brilliant observation. It’s fascinating how we categorize gear as a necessity while viewing our own growth (like a private lesson) as a frivolous luxury. It really is the same wiring you see in my world, just happening on the court! Looks like the pickleball court is the perfect, low-stakes environment to see high-stakes money patterns playing out in real-time.
To your question about the reset button: in the article I mentioned "With Scarcity Anxiety, updating the threat assessment is what matters: Where did this fear originate? Is that scenario still true? What evidence would change the benchmark?"...so it's more of a process than an event. I wish I could say there was a single 'aha!' moment that fixes it overnight, but in my experience, it’s a slow, grueling process of showing the math over and over. It’s proving to that scarcity specter that the catastrophe they’ve been fearing for 30 years simply isn’t coming. For the most stubborn cases (especially those navigating bag lady syndrome) it was rarely a spreadsheet that finally broke the spell. Sadly, it was often the sudden loss of a friend that acted as the ultimate reality check, forcing the realization that the time left to enjoy the fruits of their labor is finite. It’s a hard lesson, but it often gives them the permission they needed to finally let go.
Thank you the great comment, Bob, much appreciated!
I couldn't have said it better myself. I think we’re often taught that finance is just math, but really, it’s mostly just getting our stuff together internally! That internal work needs to be done first. Unless we trace those current behaviors back to where they were rooted, we’re just putting bandages on deeper wounds. One can have the best strategy in the world, but it’s hard to make it work if we’re still operating from a place of scarcity or old, unexamined patterns. I love that you're championing the psychology side of this; it really is the foundation for everything else.
So glad we’re on the same page with this; thank you for the kind words!
Many talk about their success creating this new habit or doing this thing and promise you that if you do the same, you´ll get to the same place. "Success leaves clues", Tony Robbins says.
Going within and looking at the wounds that keep us stuck is painful. If we don't, we feel guilty and less than. Then, we lie by saying this or that system doesn't work.
Let's scream from the roof tops that "putting bandages on deeper wounds" won't make you richer and that you are not at fault of your relationship with money. Let's make it clear that how we act or react has been programmed into our systems and, from there, we did what we could to feel safe.
You’re hitting on the exact reason this inner work is so transformative! Looking at past wounds is undeniably heavy, but it’s the only way to move from being a passenger to the driver of your own life. It isn't about blaming ourselves for our past programming; it's about claiming the agency to write the next chapter.
It takes guts to go there, but the payoff (true freedom and a life that’s finally yours) is worth every ounce of that effort. And hey, there’s absolutely no shame in leaning on those who’ve already navigated the terrain. Keep screaming it from the rooftops; this is the type of conversation that changes everything!
For me, it took a while to realize my fear of not having enough was the same as saying I'll never have enough (regardless of the evidence).
When I think about it, this mindset formed early in my career when debt was high and income wasn't. At the time, the mountain to financial security felt like an impossible journey.
My fear is rooted in 30 year old me, not current me. Recalibrating this fear has lingered, to some extent, even into retirement. I've been able to silence the fear somewhat, but the work continues even when the evidence has changed.
Thank you so much for sharing that. It’s a profound realization that the fear is rooted in your 30-year-old self, not your current one.
That mountain you climbed early on clearly left a deep impression. It's strange how we can be in a totally different financial reality, yet still carry the software we installed when things were much tighter.
And then, it’s completely normal for those old patterns to linger, especially while transitioning into retirement, but I’m glad you’ve found ways to keep that anxiety from taking the driver’s seat; you’ve done some excellent work in distinguishing between the fear of your past and the evidence of your present
The work of recalibration really is a lifelong process! Thank you for adding such a thoughtful layer to the discussion!
Too true 😉. It’s like having an old, grumpy passenger who can’t stop checking the rearview mirror when you’re trying to enjoy the road ahead. Or, like an uninvited guest who insists on giving directions, even when you know exactly where you’re going.
I’m not sure if it was scarcity anxiety when I first retired. It felt strange knowing I had switched off the earnings tap for good and was fully reliant on the plans I’d made. Took me a little while to get comfortable that the plans I’d made were arranged to cover market drops etc. I also realised I was carrying the influence of my parents outlook on finances.
I hear you; there is a unique kind of weight to that realization when you first step away. I’m glad you mentioned the influence of your parents' outlook, too; that really is the hidden layer under the anxiety. Very glad you found your footing and that the worry didn't become a permanent state of mind!
The hardest part is that financial security can be proven on paper while scarcity remains embedded in your behavior. You can solve the math and still live as though the emergency never ended. At some point, prudence stops protecting the life you built and starts preventing you from living it.
Well put. It’s definitely a long road from math to mindset, and for many, that transition takes much longer than the financial recovery itself. Appreciate you sharing that thought.
The anxiety is caused either by seeing unexpectedly "bad" things happening to others or self in near past. Our brains play the trick, trying to keep us safe by instructing us to tighten our purses and wallets. Now that you mention it, I can also reasses what is the risk actually existing and what is just in my head. As for feeling anxious- this started when their was unexpected regime change in my country, followed by many banks going bankrupt as there was actual money laundering in millions and millions. I immediately cut off all expenditure other than the necessities. Advised others too. I consider myself safe if I can make a certain amount of savings at every month end, which I deposit separately after Income vs Expenses.
Thank you so much for sharing that, Adneen. You’re touching on something profound: that scarcity anxiety is often our brain’s way of trying to protect us after we’ve seen the world become unpredictable.
What you went through with the regime change and the banking collapses sounds incredibly difficult, and it makes perfect sense that your instinct was to tighten your belt to keep yourself and your loved ones safe. It’s a survival mechanism, not just a financial one.
I love that you’re now finding a way to reassess what’s a real risk versus what your brain is signaling out of old habit. That process of separating the two is brave. Your method of depositing those savings separately sounds like a great way to build that sense of security you deserve. I really appreciate you adding this perspective to the conversation!
I agree, but I actually want to spin this on its head for a second and do a 180. I think Gen Z investors have seen so few market drops—and no prolonged correction— did they do not understand what real fallout looks like financially. Great write up!
Very insightful take, and I think you’ve hit on something really important. Because you're right: many in your generation have mostly seen the buy the dip environment, which doesn't really test one's resolve in the way a prolonged, multi-year correction does.
I wrote about this dynamic before:
https://wealthgps.substack.com/p/stop-overtrading-behavioral-framework-cfp and
https://substack.com/@mondayswifeclub/p-183413743 (together with @mondayswifeclub.
My hope is that by understanding these motivational forces early, your generation can build the inner discipline to sail through those rougher markets when they eventually arrive.
It’s a great competitive advantage to start thinking this way now! The goal is really to cultivate the mental framework now so you aren't caught off guard later. Glad you're thinking about the psychology behind the charts! Thank you for your great comment.
Thank you!
Great article. A lot of this resonates. The word “enough” is hard to quantify because the goalposts continue to move as we progress in life.
Financial trauma cuts deep. Just writing this now has me feeling a pit in my stomach remembering a few bad situations.
But I know I am well past those days, but I am also cognizant of using them as teaching for my kids.
Thank you so much for sharing that. It takes a lot of courage to admit that the pit in your stomach still surfaces, even when you know you’ve come out the other side. That trauma does cut deep, and it's a testament to your growth that you’re consciously turning those past bad situations into lessons for your kids, rather than passing the anxiety down to them. That is the best kind of wealth you can leave them! Thank you for such a personal side of the story!
I see this on the court constantly, especially with players in their sixties and seventies who grew up believing money had to be earned the hard way.
I coach a lot of retired folks who finally have time and savings to enjoy pickleball, lessons, travel to tournaments, better paddles, whatever they want. And some of them still won't spend forty bucks on a private lesson that would fix a problem costing them matches. Not because they can't afford it. Because some old voice in their head says spending on themselves is reckless. Meanwhile they'll drop that same money on gear because gear feels like a "need" and coaching feels like a luxury.
It's the same wiring you're describing. The scarcity isn't in their bank account, it's in a story they never updated.
Have you noticed a specific event that resets someone's calibration, or does it usually take slow repeated evidence before the fear finally loosens its grip?
That’s a brilliant observation. It’s fascinating how we categorize gear as a necessity while viewing our own growth (like a private lesson) as a frivolous luxury. It really is the same wiring you see in my world, just happening on the court! Looks like the pickleball court is the perfect, low-stakes environment to see high-stakes money patterns playing out in real-time.
To your question about the reset button: in the article I mentioned "With Scarcity Anxiety, updating the threat assessment is what matters: Where did this fear originate? Is that scenario still true? What evidence would change the benchmark?"...so it's more of a process than an event. I wish I could say there was a single 'aha!' moment that fixes it overnight, but in my experience, it’s a slow, grueling process of showing the math over and over. It’s proving to that scarcity specter that the catastrophe they’ve been fearing for 30 years simply isn’t coming. For the most stubborn cases (especially those navigating bag lady syndrome) it was rarely a spreadsheet that finally broke the spell. Sadly, it was often the sudden loss of a friend that acted as the ultimate reality check, forcing the realization that the time left to enjoy the fruits of their labor is finite. It’s a hard lesson, but it often gives them the permission they needed to finally let go.
Thank you the great comment, Bob, much appreciated!
Now I have to think more about your reply. It's making me think about a lot of things in my past.
Thank you, Elizabeth.
Very well explained concepts. Brilliant article.
I´m all up for the psychology of money as a first step to creating and accepting money/wealth.
Strategies and steps to follow are meaningless until we get our shit together.
Thank you again.
I couldn't have said it better myself. I think we’re often taught that finance is just math, but really, it’s mostly just getting our stuff together internally! That internal work needs to be done first. Unless we trace those current behaviors back to where they were rooted, we’re just putting bandages on deeper wounds. One can have the best strategy in the world, but it’s hard to make it work if we’re still operating from a place of scarcity or old, unexamined patterns. I love that you're championing the psychology side of this; it really is the foundation for everything else.
So glad we’re on the same page with this; thank you for the kind words!
And yet... You did say better ☺️!
Many talk about their success creating this new habit or doing this thing and promise you that if you do the same, you´ll get to the same place. "Success leaves clues", Tony Robbins says.
Going within and looking at the wounds that keep us stuck is painful. If we don't, we feel guilty and less than. Then, we lie by saying this or that system doesn't work.
Let's scream from the roof tops that "putting bandages on deeper wounds" won't make you richer and that you are not at fault of your relationship with money. Let's make it clear that how we act or react has been programmed into our systems and, from there, we did what we could to feel safe.
I get carried away...
Thank you, Elizabeth.
You’re hitting on the exact reason this inner work is so transformative! Looking at past wounds is undeniably heavy, but it’s the only way to move from being a passenger to the driver of your own life. It isn't about blaming ourselves for our past programming; it's about claiming the agency to write the next chapter.
It takes guts to go there, but the payoff (true freedom and a life that’s finally yours) is worth every ounce of that effort. And hey, there’s absolutely no shame in leaning on those who’ve already navigated the terrain. Keep screaming it from the rooftops; this is the type of conversation that changes everything!
Thank you!
I´m moved by your words.
Moving seats from the passenger's to the driver's has been tough (understatement). Very worth it.
I felt I was making the move in the dark, not even knowing whether the driver's seat was there, had been removed or there was a steering wheel.
So glad I did. Looking forward to hold the hands of those taking this step.
Thanks a million.
I treasure your words.
For me, it took a while to realize my fear of not having enough was the same as saying I'll never have enough (regardless of the evidence).
When I think about it, this mindset formed early in my career when debt was high and income wasn't. At the time, the mountain to financial security felt like an impossible journey.
My fear is rooted in 30 year old me, not current me. Recalibrating this fear has lingered, to some extent, even into retirement. I've been able to silence the fear somewhat, but the work continues even when the evidence has changed.
Another great article!
Thank you so much for sharing that. It’s a profound realization that the fear is rooted in your 30-year-old self, not your current one.
That mountain you climbed early on clearly left a deep impression. It's strange how we can be in a totally different financial reality, yet still carry the software we installed when things were much tighter.
And then, it’s completely normal for those old patterns to linger, especially while transitioning into retirement, but I’m glad you’ve found ways to keep that anxiety from taking the driver’s seat; you’ve done some excellent work in distinguishing between the fear of your past and the evidence of your present
The work of recalibration really is a lifelong process! Thank you for adding such a thoughtful layer to the discussion!
The anxiety isn’t in the driver’s seat, but it’s sure still backseat driving. And it’s annoying.
😉
Too true 😉. It’s like having an old, grumpy passenger who can’t stop checking the rearview mirror when you’re trying to enjoy the road ahead. Or, like an uninvited guest who insists on giving directions, even when you know exactly where you’re going.
I’m not sure if it was scarcity anxiety when I first retired. It felt strange knowing I had switched off the earnings tap for good and was fully reliant on the plans I’d made. Took me a little while to get comfortable that the plans I’d made were arranged to cover market drops etc. I also realised I was carrying the influence of my parents outlook on finances.
I hear you; there is a unique kind of weight to that realization when you first step away. I’m glad you mentioned the influence of your parents' outlook, too; that really is the hidden layer under the anxiety. Very glad you found your footing and that the worry didn't become a permanent state of mind!
This is one of my favorites, amazing piece in a great series.
I really appreciate the kind words! It’s been a pleasure exploring these topics, and I’m so happy to hear you’ve enjoyed the full journey so far.
The hardest part is that financial security can be proven on paper while scarcity remains embedded in your behavior. You can solve the math and still live as though the emergency never ended. At some point, prudence stops protecting the life you built and starts preventing you from living it.
Well put. It’s definitely a long road from math to mindset, and for many, that transition takes much longer than the financial recovery itself. Appreciate you sharing that thought.
The anxiety is caused either by seeing unexpectedly "bad" things happening to others or self in near past. Our brains play the trick, trying to keep us safe by instructing us to tighten our purses and wallets. Now that you mention it, I can also reasses what is the risk actually existing and what is just in my head. As for feeling anxious- this started when their was unexpected regime change in my country, followed by many banks going bankrupt as there was actual money laundering in millions and millions. I immediately cut off all expenditure other than the necessities. Advised others too. I consider myself safe if I can make a certain amount of savings at every month end, which I deposit separately after Income vs Expenses.
Thank you so much for sharing that, Adneen. You’re touching on something profound: that scarcity anxiety is often our brain’s way of trying to protect us after we’ve seen the world become unpredictable.
What you went through with the regime change and the banking collapses sounds incredibly difficult, and it makes perfect sense that your instinct was to tighten your belt to keep yourself and your loved ones safe. It’s a survival mechanism, not just a financial one.
I love that you’re now finding a way to reassess what’s a real risk versus what your brain is signaling out of old habit. That process of separating the two is brave. Your method of depositing those savings separately sounds like a great way to build that sense of security you deserve. I really appreciate you adding this perspective to the conversation!
Really great read, my friend. Love learning, and this piece was very insightful.
Thank you so much for the kind words and support, Legend! Glad this piece provided insights.